Why Is It That...?

...Fugly men always have high standards and expectations for women? Dude, seriously...? You're mid-thirties, short, and look like Hustle Man... how dare you ask me what MY friends look like- as if they'd want you anyway? 

... Fat bitches don't know they're fat but everyone else does?

...All hoodboogers have those tight pleather jackets that don't cover their muffin top?

...Men wait for you to buy your own drink at the bar then try to come talk to you?

...The loudest most obnoxious guys have the smallest penises? Over-compensating are we?

...Some women don't understand that a weave must be maintained like natural hair?  It may not be yours, honey, but it once belonged to someone, lol.  Wash, condition and comb that poor thing.  If I see one more nappy, ashy weave I'm gonna start giving out citations!

...Every rap song has specific dance instructions? Where is the music for the 25+ two-steppers?

... You can do your boss's job with your eyes closed but when you're out they need a temp to do your job and call and email you to ask stupid questions? (And you get the big bucks because...)

...White people seem to dance to the lyrics, not the beat?  They're dangerous when their "jam" comes on!

...Tamia isn't more famous? With all her talent, she should be on every cover and on every radio station (but Rihanna runs the radio now, with her talentless ass.)

And lastly...

...We worry so much about how we look but men don't seem to notice or care nearly as much about our imperfections?

I'm just sayin'...

Basketball "Wives"

Really Evelyn? You smile in Tammy's face and then wait till she "exhales" at dinner, in the company of other women, to drop the "f" bomb about you and her ex?  Seriously...?  Was there no other opportunity to pull her aside and tell her this in private? Geez... That's beyond hateful.  This goes to show the bitterness and contempt women can sometimes have for one another.  Regardless of the situation, there is always a time to come correct, but if you are an evil, self-centered black-hearted wretch like Evelyn, I guess the rules don't apply.

What happened to sisterhood?  What happened to the code of ethics- the unspoken, but well known, rules about friendship?  I guess that begs the question: What defines a friend?  Far too often we call our associates "friend" when they have not earned the title.  I am beyond guilty of making the mistake of trying to transition my childhood associations into adult friendships. A friend is proven, not made.  Make sure when you call someone your friend, they have earned the title.

I'm just sayin'...

"You told Harpo to beat me!"

Damn, right! And I'm tellin' Harpo to beat these ig'nant crumb snatchin' kids out here too!  I overheard a child cuss out some school personnelle today in a way that for sure would have gotten her a black tie invitation to a beating from my mama!  See,  back in the day, we had a thing called... hmm, let me think... what was it called? Oh, whuppin' ass!!  Today parents are young, dumb and out of control so the apples aren't falling too far from the proverbial tree.  We need to get back to the days when a swift backhand or a glare from mama would fix that ass in an instant.  I'm just under 30 and it seems like a lifetime of difference between the way I was raised and kids today.  (Remember you waited to go into your room, closed to door THEN mumbled under your breath "I hate her!"? LOL... now...?)

  

We need to get back to the time where we gave tough love and handed out beatings freely when appropriate.  Stop this negotiating and debating with kids.  They need guidance, boundaries and discipline not freedom and friendship from parents.  If all else fails, like Ms. Celie said..."beat 'em"

I'm just sayin'...

It's Just That Simple...

So, after much consideration (and a 2 hour phone call with my dearest friend last night) I discovered that I have the answer to ALL of your relationship woes... 

WAIT FOR IT...

This simple concept can answer all of the agonizing "Why doesn't he call?" "Why won't he commit?" "How come he takes three days to return a call/text/bbm?" "Why is he acting like a complete assbag when we had such an amazing first date?" questions... 

READY?

Ladies, this is not new and I did not invent this so don't judge... however, so often we forget that if a man wants you, there is no obstacle that can derail him from manifesting his feelings for you with positive and declarative gestures.  So when you are wondering "why?", realize, the answer is simply, BECAUSE HE DON'T WANT YO' ASS!!!  Any man who cannot look at you and realize the quality woman you are doesn't care to and probably has little interest and respect for you.  The reasons may vary; maybe you've made yourself too available, too easy or came across as too desperate. Or, (and more importantly) the universe (or God) whichever you believe in, is trying to prepare you for a greater, more quality partner by removing Sir Douche from your life.  When he is showing signs of disinterest, don't over-think it. Accept that he doesn't want you, declare that it's his loss, and move the hell on- pride intact!

I'm just sayin'... ; 0)